Carol Cabrera
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15 Pounds

4/8/2016

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I have about 15 pounds to go before I hit my goal weight. I'm so so so close to being at the weight where I was happiest at and most comfortable in my skin! Now's the time where I start to sabotage myself, though, because I feel so so close to the gold that I feel like I  can cheat a little. To resisting the temptations!!!

My boyfriend is coming to New York to visit exactly 14 days from today and he will be here for 14 days! I've been talking to him a lot about supporting me through my weight loss and he has sworn is solemn support to me, even when he gets here. Today, when we had time to Skype one another this afternoon, he noticed a difference in me physically, even through just Skype- so I'm very excited to see him in person but VERY nervous about the temptations that will come with him!
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Here's another project I'm working on. I'm working a little play with the working title "Pageant Pinays". Those of you who know me MIGHT know this fun little fact about me--I did pageants when I was younger. The first pageant I competed in was Ms. Pre-Teen San Diego. I didn't place at all, but I did get Ms. Congeniality. Fast forward to 2010, the year of my last pageant--Ms. Philippines, San Diego County. I was in the top 5 and walked away with Ms. Scholarship for having the highest GPA of all the girls who had competed. Competing in pageants was stressful, and admittedly sometimes catty and sorority-like.

But I got a LOT out of pageants. I learned to be confident. To be conscious of my body and how I present myself. To sharpen my talents like singing. How to be in front of an audience in a swimsuit. I learned how to speak in front of large audiences without fear, as myself and not just as a character in a play.
I'm 26 years old now and I'm actually not even sure if I'm eligible to compete in pageants anymore. I think the cut off age might be 25. Even so, I think that now, about 15 pounds away from my goal weight, I would be confident enough to enter that world again--something I definitely would not have said in January. That's definitely a celebration, I think! To the right is a picture of my baby sister who was 10 at the time copying the photo of me that was displayed in the lobby of the theatre that I competed in in 2010! I'm wearing a Maria Clara dress, a traditional Filipino gown. My sister is 18 years old now and would probably kill me for posting this picture of her on my blog but I think it's a good reminder- my sister is such an inspiration to me in so many ways. She and I both have developed a love for swing dancing and it was her who showed me how to find swing dancing classes and clubs here in New York when she was visiting a few weeks ago. I didn't get a chance to swing dance this week but hopefully I'll be back at it again next week! 
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Skyler, my boyfriend, is a super out-doorsy kid with a million physical activity hobbies that he loves--he skateboards, surfs, rock climbs--so many things that keep him in shape all the time. The kid only weighs 147 pounds! Just a few months ago, I was heavier than my boyfriend who is soooooo much taller than 5' little me. I'm glad to be under his weight right now and hopefully much nearer the weight that I should be to be healthy, soon!

I'm actually not sure what my weight was in 2010 when I competed in Ms. Philippines San Diego (to the left). I definitely was much more confident than I am today. Hopefully I can get back to that kind of confidence very, very soon!


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    Carol Cabrera

    The human body is art.

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  • Making
    • Theatre Projects >
      • Agila (2017)
      • Halo Halo (2017)
      • Stories of the Sun Cafe (2017)
      • Colored (2018)
    • The Creation Trade (ongoing)
    • Portraiture >
      • Skyler (2015)
      • Cleo (2015)
      • Sophia (2015)
      • Karen (2015)
      • Dio (2016)
      • Chivonne (2016)
      • Isabella (2016)
      • Gordon & Erika Get Married (2017)
      • Titus (2017)
    • 365 Writing Project (2015)
    • Photo Series >
      • Natural Inversions (2015)
      • City (2015)
      • Music Photography (Ongoing)
      • Uganda, in 80 Portraits (2016)
    • Si Malakas at Si Maganda >
      • The Journey
      • The Artwork
      • The Team
      • The Photos >
        • March 18th: 4th Grade Critique Group at Explorer Elementary School
        • March 18th: Community Gathering at Charity Wings Art & Crafts Center
        • March 13th: Community Gathering at Cabrera House
      • The Media
      • The Community
    • Poetry >
      • closing performance
      • zodiac lovers
    • Music (Ongoing)
    • Loving v. Virginia (Ongoing)
    • Rice Not Bullets >
      • Rice Not Bullets: Response #1
      • Rice Not Bullets: Response #2
      • Rice Not Bullets: Response #3
    • Watercolor Experiments
  • Learning
    • High Tech High GSE
    • New York University
  • Teaching